Saturday, 14 June 2014

One To Maybe Miss - A film review about Earth to Echo

I don’t know whether this film is meant to be a target for my reviews or not as the only detail I have for it is “some children receive mysterious messages on their cell phone” and then the trail runs cold. It doesn’t go into specifics as to what the messages may be or where they’ve come from or even the circumstances under which the messages arrived so, given that the title has ‘Earth’ in it, I’m going to assume it means some aliens get in touch with the children via their phones and the children find it strange. I don’t even know how the messages arrive – are these phone calls, texts or have the aliens got Facebook?

Worse still, have the aliens been trying to send each other cheeky photos of their arses and pressed the wrong digits, sending the pictures flying towards some unprepared teenagers whose first contact is with the hairy cheeks of a little green man? I dread to think how far they got before they realised they were sending them to the wrong place and had to work out a way to apologise given that their language structure would be very different from ours. How do you say “Sorry you saw my nipples” to a race that’s evolved millions of light years away from your own world?

I can imagine the horror of the parents who had saved a fortune to get their child the latest mobile only to find it had been filled with intergalactic smut and had to take it back, leaving the poor thing confused and angry that they’d waited so long for such a gift only to have it removed. The banks lost all of their parents’ money trying to make their own fortune and, just as they started to recover, their only device of value was taken off them leaving them exposed to bullying from their peers and nicknames like “E.T. No Phone” through no fault of their own.