Saturday, 24 April 2010

Rain in Spain unlikely to fall on planes

Spanish scientists are developing a new ionising technique to ensure that planes repel rainwater.

Many speech therapists have long considered the phrase “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane” to be useful in the improvement of their patients. However, over time, many have started to believe that this means planes flying into Spanish airspace will suffer a drenching. Some have even taken the unusual action of flying to Portugal and hitchhiking to their Spanish holidays, meaning Spanish airports are losing out on lucrative descending, levelling and landing taxes.

Fortunately a number of Spanish scientists were tipped off by a group from Bristol. Known collectively as the Committee for Understanding of No Travel in Spain, these easily led holiday makers have believed the myth for years. “We set up a group on a popular social networking site to spread the word of the possible need for an umbrella when disembarking at Spanish airports. One of the group, Frankie, has witnessed it first hand. However, we have been reassured by the scientists who have convinced us that Frankie’s experience could have been a coincidence.”

To dispel the myth could take a long time; with this in mind, the scientists are working around the clock on an ionisation technique that would encourage rain to travel around the body and wings of aircraft, giving visual relief to thousands of fliers. “If people can watch the rain literally avoiding the aircraft, I’m sure they’d be relieved. This could help as they leave the craft too, as the rain would be forced away from the open door.”

The news has been welcomed by travellers the world over, though flights to Spain are unlikely to rise until the system is in place. “We trust that it can happen”, says Gill Rope of Taunton. “We just won’t be using Spanish airports until it’s tried and tested”. Despite this, scientists are unconcerned about the effectiveness of the system despite what it will mean for the Spanish economy. Professor Robot Wilson, head of ionisation and rehydrating small mammals, explains. “If it doesn’t work, we’ll just lie” he told us in complete confidence. “It half looks like the rain is repelled when it bounces off the wings anyway. We’ll just tell people that it’s due to the technique and that our work is done.

“This is guaranteed to be a 100% success.” He added, before chuckling and throwing his head back manically.

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